Cue Jeff Foxworthy accentYour car might be a clunker if …* It’s wearing three (or more) different sizes of tire.* Your bowling ball keeps falling out of the trunk, even when the trunk lid is closed.* You need to add oil more often than you need to add gas.* Dogs don’t bark and chase after it.* You can only get country and western stations on the radio.* There are mushrooms growing out of the rear-seat carpeting.* You’ve gotten in the habit of leaving the jumper cables permanently attached to your battery.* There’s more than one bumper sticker holding the rear bumper to the car.* The color listed on the title is “Duct Tape.”* Your pine-tree air freshener is a twig from an actual pine tree.* When your CHECK ENGINE light comes on, you know from experience that you need to actually check to see if your engine is still there.* Your ignition key also works in your lawn tractor.* Driver’s seat upholstery is for sissies.* Your seatbelts are made from leather.* Your make, year and model isn’t even listed in the Blue Book.* Your teenager doesn’t want to install an iPod dock. * Your dog hides in the back seat instead of sticking his head out of the open window.* Parking valets tip you to park it.* Yugo drivers flip you off.* You never throw out a clothes hanger; you might need it to hold up your tailpipe.RELATED STORIES* PLUS: Off-Road Modders Weigh in on Hummer’s Future* ANALYSIS: How 35.5 MPG Will Change the Way we Drive* CAR CLINIC: How to Fix a Car Hood Release Cable(Getty Images/Ricardo De Mattos)
